I’m writing this with a small lump in my throat.
One year. One year. One year. Every year I take this lake trip with my parents, been doing it since I was a foot tall. Every year we come back and just experience nature, fish, relax; it’s my time to reflect. I took this picture one year ago. I was kind of broken, confused, with no direction. I had quit my job at Walmart, been stabbed in the back by a girl I blindly allowed in, and was in the worst shape of my life. I consider myself self aware, and knew that I was at a low point. I took the leap of faith knowing I needed to start over. I was not happy, despite how my appearance seemed otherwise.
I’m a natural 100%er. I do EVERYTHING 100% and give it my all. At this low point last year I was more concerned with what was going on at home than I was with enjoying my short “vacation.” When I came back I needed a reset. I needed a 100% 180 from where I was. I started the suffocating journey to start my business. I took the leap into the crossfit cult. For the first time in years I sat back and wanted to work on the internal more than the external.
My favorite part of the trip is the fishing part with pops (love you too Mom!) it consists of us sitting there and him telling me bits and pieces of advice that he forgot he told me 10 times already. Every time he tells me though, it means something else. I learn a lot from the fishing too.
This year I wanted to focus on the fishing to get my mind off of the business for a bit. Fishing is surprisingly similar to life. There are different kinds of fish, different kinds of bites, different kinds of days. There’s so many similarities between a good fisherman and a successful person. Being aware of surroundings and one self is so important. Being aware of the rod positions, the winds, the type of bites is just like being self aware in this crazy world. Sometimes it’s better to reel in a bite fast, full force right away. Sometimes it’s better to be patient and allow the fish to make the move and then slowly reel in. You never know what’s on the end of the line, you can only know how you react.
This year, focusing on the fishing, I realized a weakness of mine. My patience needs a lot of work. I need more time to let the world do its work and wait for the right time to attack. My 100% personality has conditioned me to believe I can change the ways of the world. Change the success of my business. Change the way people feel about me. Change everything that is not in my control. I read my first book in years. Call it an omen, but a quote that stuck:
"If you really want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it."
I’m writing this a completely different person than last year. I have narrower direction, greater drive. I’ve lost long term friendships, I’ve discovered many more new ones. I’m living with less emotion on my sleeve, and finding new outlets to expel them. I’m wiser, more fit, and more aware of my impact on this world. And I won’t date dumb girls anymore, especially ones with sharp knives.
My patience is something I have to continue to develop socially, physically, mentally. I will learn to breathe.. to let circumstances develop without the need to take action until action is needed at the right moment. Next year I’m going to be even better, as a fisherman and a person.
But for now, I’m enjoying what my fast reeling has brought me.